Now, I’ve worked for years in New York City and as such it’s nearly impossible to walk down any street at any time of the day without a cabbie or driver laying on the horn at another driver.

However, New York City residents move out of the city for the promise of a better environment to raise children: a yard with grass and trees, good schools, Costco – you know, the essentials.

It’s with that where I struggle to understand the mindset of people that come out to the ‘burbs for peace and quiet and instead can’t help themselves but to beep at everything. Didn’t make a turn fast enough? Honk. Didn’t accelerate fast enough when the light turned green? Honk. Didn’t let someone complete a “Jersey left”, whereby as soon as the light turns green the person across from you in the left turn lane guns it to cut off traffic? Honk. Honk. And honk.

Seriously, help me readers – is this just Jersey people being assholes or does this happen by you? And when it is acceptable to use the horn?

Before accepting the new position, I debated staying at my old job. I weighed the pros and cons of both and discussed it all with my wife. Despite it being something I’ll have to live with, the decision affects the family just as much as it does me.

My wife trusts me to make the right decision, but it was good to use her as a sounding board and reassure myself that the decision to make the move, was the right one. Only time will tell, but I’m already feeling that the decision was the right one.

As the bread winner (only bread) in the house, this was a big decision. Everything is riding on this decision — home finances, career, etc. It’s a scary thing, but at the same time, very exciting.

After thinking about it more and more, I came to the conclusion that this decision was the right one because the family is worth it. Everything I do is for them. Having flexibility to work from home; earning more money; and, being with a company that is young, vibrant and eager to grab the brass ring is a great feeling. And, at the end of the day, all these things will help in progressing the family towards our goals — more vacations (out of New England); having spending flexibility; and, of course, having the ability to really dive deep into home improvements.

I start the next chapter of my career on Wednesday and despite being the one heading into the new office by myself, the family will be right there with me.

Don Martelli is just a dad, moonlighting as an agency exec, photographer and civilian journalist. He’s the executive editor for Technorati and a co-founder of Every Other Thursday. Connect with him at www.donmartelli.com or @BigGuyD via Twitter.

Yes, the water park is something of a misnomer: there is a lot of water but there’s not much of any sort of park nearby. It’s a place where billions of gallons of water, suntan oil, urine and other bodily fluids get pumped through a large filter (God I hope) and recycled for the enjoyment of thousands of people per day. As a Dad it’s theoretically a paradise: the wife in a bathing suit, the kids play until they’re exhausted and a wristband that lets you pay for booze. Let’s talk about some of the realities:

Bathing Suits

Yes, in theory it should be awesome: Scads of women wearing bathing suits 24/7. The reality? It’s basically a bunch of moms, most of whom outweigh you or are at least 15 years your senior, in bathing suits. Not as pretty as it sounds. Did I mention you have wear a bathing suit too? Well, there’s that. And it’s ok if you forget to shave your back or whatever routine you use to get prettied up for the park – there’ll always be another guy there hairier than you.

Tattoos

If you ever want to see a living, breathing example of why 24 hour tattoo parlors are a bad idea just head to the water park. From men with tramp stamps to women with roses up their crotch, it’s a veritable cavalcade of bad decisions. My personal favorites from this past weekend are the man that paid tribute to his deceased son by having “In loving memory of”, a pair of praying hands and his son’s name tattooed around his obese stomach – with his son’s name just above his crotch pubic hair – and a man with what had to be prison tattoos, not given by his choice, of a traced hand (think kids at school making Thanksgiving turkey cut-outs) and another with two diagonally intersecting arrows, Powerpoint style.

Urine

It’s pretty much everywhere there’s water. If it’s wet, it’s probably been peed in. As a Dad you can’t tell your kids enough times to keep their mouths shut, but there’s only so much you can do. And expect the kiddie pools to be about 5-10 degrees warmer than the other areas of the park. By day two of your trip you’ll have had more urine on you than Main Street America did after the bank bail outs. The chemistry of the pool water is so potent that MLB players might want to start bottling the water as samples and using it for their random tests. As if it’s not disgusting enough, and I shit you not, at one point I actually saw a pre-teen girl dunk a clear plastic cup into the water TO DRINK IT. Ignorant, thirsty or “watersports” porn star in the making – you be the judge.

Playing

There’s a ton to do at the water park for kids and adults of all ages, however I’d recommend leaving any kids under 2 at home. Not alone, of course, but with a sitter or family. Quite frankly it’s just not enjoyable to have to worry about a baby in any depth of water let alone at a play where hundreds of other older kids are running around splashing. The mega parks have toddler-friendly zones and pools and even have slides for the little ones. Kids over the age of 2 will have a great time and if your older ones are 42″ or taller they’ll meet the minimum height requirement to go on the larger slides/tubes. Older kids will enjoy the slides, wave pools and, if your park is attached to a hotel, arcade.

Meat Heads

Yes, it doesn’t only happen on the Jersey Shore: meat heads are attracted to water parks because of their uncanny ability to sniff out places where it’s legal to take off their shirt and show the labors of their HGH regimen. Most of them stay out of the way because there are kids around, but in case you run into one going through ‘roid rage take solace in the fact that most of these losers, who are all-upper body and have toothpick legs, will probably die of a heart attack at a young age. Plus they have tiny balls. Heh.

Food

Organic. No high fructose corn syrup. South Beach diet. Atkins. Whatever diet you’re on that does involve not being a glutton should be thrown out the window. From the powdered eggs and a “topping station” with whipped cream, chocolate chips, sprinkles and “red cherry juice” for breakfast to the fried everything for lunch and dinner, you’re in for a high caloric  intake weekend. Fortunately most of these places have gyms so you can at least work off some of the garbage you’ve packed in on the side; this of course is in addition to walking up and down flights of stairs at the hotel and in the water park itself.

Cost

I’ll get to the point: Water parks aren’t cheap.  When I say “they’re not cheap”, I’m saying a recent weekend with two nights at the hotel, some MagicQuest and a few meals will set you back close to four figures. Clearly it’s not cheap but I’d recommend either doing it during the week and saving a few bucks or just leaving early on a Saturday and getting one night at the hotel. This will get you all of the water park goodness you can handle for about 36 hours and hopefully you won’t walk out with a rash and hopefully with about half the cost of what we spent. Most of the mega parks also offer wrist bands that allow wearers to charge amenities back to the room, which can be great for Mom and Dad but something you’ll want to avoid for the kids.

USS Lincoln CVN-72. Photo: US Navy

Less than 48 hours and counting, and I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve.

As a blogger, PR and social media professional, this opportunity is one of the most exciting and anticipated I’ve ever had. To be able to actually fly and land on an aircraft carrier at sea is something not many people on this planet get to experience. Add to the that spending some quality time with the men and women of the United States Navy, and I am truly honored.

Why exactly am I being afforded this opportunity and why should you care?

The Navy has done an outstanding job of using both public relations and social media to share with Americans what it does on a daily basis and the extraordinary hard work the men and women in our armed forces do on a daily basis. They’re on the front lines of protecting our country every day and do so at sea, away from their families and loved ones.

In order for Americans back home to see just how amazing these sailors are, the Navy allows a number of dignitaries, journalists, bloggers and professionals to take part in these trips and write about them. Not only write but snap pictures, take videos and live like the sailors live for just over 24 hours. By “walking in their shoes” we can tell the folks back home just how amazing and dedicated our men and women are.

Being an aviation buff as a kid, this trip is going to be exciting to me personally. I’ve always admired the crews on these floating cities and their experience is a unique one. I am looking forward to chronicling that and sharing with you the sites, sounds and people of the USS Lincoln.

Stay tuned for some great content, photos, videos and interviews coming here on Every Other Thursday.com next week.

Don’t think we’ll be able to Tweet or update our Facebook status while we’re out there, but in case, follow me @sdgully.

A special thanks again to Andy Sernovitz from the Social Media Business Council for arranging this trip for me and my fellow participants.

1. The Honker

Typically raised in the tri-state New York area, the Honker can’t help but let you know you didn’t pull off the line fast enough, you’re stupidly pausing to let the old lady cross the street or that you didn’t turn fast enough out of a parking lot into oncoming traffic. Yes, the Honker’s patience are thin because he’s in a hurry and can’t be bothered with common decency or respect for the neighborhood’s noise level.

2. Quick Draw McGraw

I never experienced this until moving to New Jersey, but apparently it’s OK to cut off all oncoming traffic on a left hand turn – but only as soon as the light turns green. This was a revelation to me as I normally would wait until a car wasn’t 20 feet in front of me before turning, but apparently if you don’t cut someone off as soon as the light turns green you’re an asshole for not turning. Huh.

3. Jerry, The Race Car Driver

Maybe it’s because I grew up in the Motor City but it seems like every moron with a Hemi or import sports car that pulls up next to me wants to drag race. I’m not sure if it’s the greased-back hair, the hand rolled cigarette behind my ear or the leather jacket and white t-shirt, but for some reason me in a Honda Pilot full of kids makes the jerk next to me think I’m up for a race. I’m not. I’m just trying to get to the Whole Foods to buy some organic milk, dick.

4. My Right Hand Man

Yet another Jersey phenomenon, but there’s no need to pull up right next to me in the parking lane to try and get ahead. Sit back, stay in line and we’ll all make it through. You cutting ahead in line doesn’t make things go faster, it just creates a traffic jam in the intersection.

5. The Moving Coffin

This one might upset a few people, but I’ll disclose that this one isn’t mine, which thereby relieves me of all legal and “OMFG I’M OFFENDED AND I REALIZE THAT THE F IN OMFG COULD OFFEND SOMEONE ELSE” hissy fits. I’m not here to advocate for death planning, but putting Grandpa in his Sunday best, strapping him in with a seatbelt in the DeSoto and sending him off on the road to die isn’t exactly helpful to those of us trying to get somewhere. Here’s how you know it’s time to get off the road: You can no longer drive and hold your jaw shut at the same time.

Any others I missed?