But what happens when that fight leaves the living room or the bedroom via Twitter or Facebook? How are that couple’s followers and friends supposed to take it? How do they react? And does it leave behind any lasting effect?

This is something I have thought about in the past. I have turned to both Facebook and Twitter to express my feelings about my wife. It usually is mild gripe stuff, but once in a while I post something a little more visceral than I should. Usually, those get ignored. Occasionally, a friend leaves somthing pithy like, “My wife also loves it when I question her parenting on Facebook.” My wife will also post her feelings about our little spats, too. And we leave the big stuff off our walls. It’s sort of an unwritten rule in our house.

That’s not the case for everyone. Aaron Gouveia, a guy I admire very much, and someone I shared a newsroom with briefly, recently tweeted his feelings about his wife in the heat of an argument. I won’t repeat his tweet here without his permission, but it is in his Twitter stream on @Daddyfiles. He made a very strong statement. I read it in real time, and was shocked. And knowing Aaron, I knew something was really wrong. He loves his wife more than life itself. He’s her biggest cheerleader, and he has supported her through some extremely difficult experiences, which he chronicled on his blog, Daddyfiles. A few minutes later, he tweeted that the argument was resolved and he apologized to his wife.

In the days that passed, Aaron came under attack by several people who were furious with him and his tweet. Many decided to unfollow him, and they attacked him on their way out. In the midst of the furor, came Audrey Binkowski, known as @laughmom, who said It was important for Aaron to consider his audience when tweeting because negative tweets could hurt his brand. She was talking specifically about a situation with another blogger whose idea was stolen by a brand. Audrey has a point. Aaron agreed with her in principle, but won’t change a thing.He will continue to chronicle his life on Twitter – happy or sad.

Audrey is right. Aaron is right. I wouldn’t censor myself for fear of losing sponsorships or paid gigs. I don’t get any anyway. But that could change, and if it did, I would have to consider my posts to all social networks and blogs very carefully. The ranting looney doesn’t usually take home the gravy.

If you take the balance of Aaron’s tweets together, he usually is only looney about hating New York teams. He loves his wife. He idolizes his son. He worships his dad. He admires his brother. He is grateful to his mother. He makes friends easily, and he is influential. So, the occasional visceral tweet can be forgiven.The haters will hate. The people who want to live in a world of sunshine and lollipops will chastise anyone who infringes on that. The senators of the Nanny State will always be out there policing what people say and do.

He owes nobody on Twitter an apology. He still has thousands of followers; thousands of supporters. His tweets carry weight, and clearly the response to his tweet about his wife is a example of that influence. But there is a lesson in this for Aaron and all dad bloggers: Your tweets do matter. They do get read. When you’ve built an audience of followers – sympathizers and admirers – you do have to remember that people will get pissed off at you for what you write wherever it is printed. How you handle it is what matters. Aaron doesn’t apologize, except to his wife. That’s all that matters to him. That’s all that should matter to anybody.

That doesn’t mean this arrangement isn’t without trouble. When we are on familiar local roads, everything is mostly hunky-dory. With the exception of a few reminders for her to slow down, I rarely have a problem with how she drives. It’s a different story we get out of town.

Susan isn’t very good with her sense of position. That’s different than a sense of direction. She is very god with directions. She knows east from west, etc. But position is knowing whether places are east or west of your current location. That’s where I come in. I have to give directions, and this is where it all falls apart for us.

I say something that seems very clear and logical to me. My wife hears something different. She does what she hears and that sets the trouble in motion. We get along well except when we argue, and this is one of those things we argue about.

Usually by about the third direction, I shut up and let her problem solve on her own. This usually works.

I’m sure a lot of you are thinking I’m a jerk. But this is what works for us. It would be a lot worse if I drove because my wife is a terrible passenger. Her appraisal of my driving is that I’m a poke who drives like Mr. Magoo. I will admit to driving the speed limit pretty much wherever I go. I use my turn signals and I stop for yellow lights. I take full advantage of the more deliberate effort of driving now that we live in North Carolina after growing up and earning my chops on the crazy streets of Boston and surrounding suburbs. But this drives my wife bonkers and she doesn’t fail to let me know this.

It’s just better this way. We disagree. Sometimes we strenuously object. But mostly we have a difference of opinion and move on. It works. It’s not great. But it works.

On a hot June day in 1996, my wife Eliete did me the biggest favor anyone has ever done for me: she said I do. It’s amazing how someone can really make you a better person and truly be a partner for your entire life. That’s my wife and today I wish her a very happy anniversary.

But as I do that, I think it’s worth the time to suck up to her and to really put into words how much our marriage has meant to every part of my life. Literally, she single-handedly saved this wandering mind from himself. When I say she is truly my better half, I am not kidding.

Back when I met my wife in 1993, I had significantly improved my station in life and had recently transferred to UNLV after screwing around my first three years in college. I had a lot of fun but I, surprisingly, found myself in Las Vegas ready to get serious. I was focused on school and my future career and nothing would get in the way of that. I had wasted too much time already and my focus was singular.

Then she walked into my life. Actually, I walked into hers.

Since I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I worked a part-time job while I was in college. I worked selling the drunk and sometimes belligerent tourists at Caesar’s Palaces’ Forum Shops in a Warner Bros. Studio Store.

One night, a weekend night, when it was so hard to even breathe due to the hordes of tourists looking for that perfect Bugs Bunny shirt, I had a customer ask me to check if we had that 3XL shirt in the back. I walked in the back and high up on a later was a girl, her curly hair covering most of her face. Well, all I really saw was her butt and the hair. Both were impressive

“Hey, could you see if there’s a size 3XL in the Bugs shirt up there,” I asked this fellow employee.

She turned her face beautiful and tanned, and said the words that immediately made me fall for her.

“Why don’t you check for your own damn shirt.”

I was always a sucker for tough women and this one caught me off-guard but dead on.

The next time we worked together, I suckered the manager into scheduling me at the front with her as a greeter. Soon, we were talking and it just clicked. I asked her out to lunch a few days later and within a week, we were dating. That was 18 years ago.

I’ve shortened the story but our marriage has been an amazing journey that really has only begun. As I grown older, 15 years just seems like a flash. So much has happened to us since we were married on that day. I really have a hard time believing it’s been that long. Yet, I can’t wait to see what the next 30 years will bring.

In that time, my wife has been an absolute saint. When we said out vows to one another, we both meant it and only Elie has been tested constantly to live up to those vows. She motivated me to beat malignant melanoma over 6 years ago. She’s stood by me in good and bad decisions always helping me stay afloat. She’s been my rock and been my coach through a wonderful life full of challenges, pain, joy and success.

She’s allowed me to be a flawed but loving husband and a father now five times over. She’s given me more than I could ever possibly repay her for. It’s just not possible for me to thank her or show her how much she’s meant to me. This is probably the best I can do. Material gifts or Hallmark greetings just won’t do. She has my undying love and respect, even though sometimes I’m a big pain in the butt.

The problem today with marriage is most people who give up on it do it because they’re not willing to go through the tough times. Some of an idyllic view of what marriage is. So when challenges – both minor and serious arise – they throw in the towel. Marriage is not easy. As Elie and I can attest, sometimes it’s as hard as anything to make it succeed. But love carries you through. You have to remember what you promised when you stood in that church and said I do.

Fifteen years ago today, I said I do. I didn’t say I will when it’s easy.

Thank you Eliete. I am the man I am today all because of you. Thank you and I love you forever.

Talk to my wife of 15 years and she’ll tell you being home with two kids under 4 is overwhelming every day. And she’d be right. Still, despite having all the respect in the world for my wife as both a woman and a mother, there is stress and pressure that comes from being Dad and being the sole financial provider.

I’ve been away from EOT for a while now. It’s been hard because I love writing about being Dad and a husband and I love the blog we’ve created. Blogging continues to be my creative outlet. Being a social media and digital marketing champion by day is great, but the creative outlet that is writing for me has been an immeasurable amount of fun. I try to be personal and tackle all sorts of subjects.

Late last year, I blogged about our family’s big move to the Midwest. The last nine months have been whirlwind. Both personally and professionally. It’s been almost impossible to attain the balance I’ve had at other points in my career and family. Since the day we got off the plane in Kansas City, we’ve been non-stop on the go: new job, new school, new house, new neighbors, new weather (yuck! snow!), new doctors and even a new baby on the way. It’s crazy.

All of this pressure – both good and bad – came to a head for me this past Friday. After celebrating my daughter’s 8th grade graduation, I started to feel odd. I had some chest pains and my left arm was killing me. I knew that those were some symptoms of a possible heart attack, but I was a typical man and just wrote it off as a small annoyance. But the pain persisted and by 9pm on Friday, I was very concerned.

My wife drove me to a nearby hospital and after a few hours of tests, some morphine, and some fluids, they admitted me to the hospital overnight for observation. As I write this post, they’ve ruled out a heart attack but still aren’t sure what my issue is. All the heart attack tests came back negative, but they can’t rule out a cardiac issue because of what I am experiencing.

I’m confident it’s going to be something brought on by stress. But, until they know for sure, I’m being careful and trying to regain some balance.

My family is the most important thing to me in the entire world. I’d die for all of them in a split second. I don’t want to die because of a stressful job or the stress that life has thrown at me the last few years. I have to make changes and they have to be physical and mental.

I tell you this personal story because I truly believe many Dads are on the same path of destruction. While you need to do well in your career to feed, cloth and house your family, it won’t do them much good if it sends you to an early grave. I’d rather have less vacations, fewer promotions, and less money than leave my family before my time.

A recent story on CNN.com talked about how little Americans take vacation. And while some corporate executives would chuckle at that, since they rather work the “help” like Ramses in ancient Egypt, too little time off is just one problem effecting overwhelmed Dads.

Overall, for me, it’s the issue of finding balance. In a job where checking our brand’s Facebook page and responding to customers on Twitter eats into my weekends, it’s hard to “turn it off.” In this connected world, when you have a connected job, you almost never leave it.

It really makes you wonder if its all worth it.

In two words: it’s not.

That doesn’t mean I am giving up my career and living off the land with five kids and a wife to support. What it does mean is I am changing my behavior. I want to work for a company that supports balance in the lives of their employees. That’s why I came back to the Midwest. I came to find more balance, not less.

It’s a work in progress, but we’ll have to keep forging ahead. An old friend of mine sent me a message on Facebook reminding me that without health we have nothing. He’s right and I am going to get mine right. That means I need to find that balance and it’s going to be hard.

At the same time, it’s going to be easy. All I have to do is look at my wife and kids to realize everything else is second fiddle. Hopefully, sharing this story will help others realize that family should always come first.

Scott also contributes at Technorati.com where he writes about politics, and other crazy stuff.

Personally, my wife’s weight isn’t important to me. I’ve never asked her what she weighs as I know that with a lot of people this is a sensitive subject. I think at one point in our marriage I actually said “We’re good as long as you don’t weigh as much as me”. That being said, weight is often a difficult subject to discuss in any relationship. In fact, just the other week I popped a button on my pants. I remember the account vividly from our kitchen:

“Uuuuuuphh!”, which is the typical sound I make when I’m putting on pants somewhere around Friday through Monday, when I’m definitely not exercising and the slight weekend weight gain has drastically impacted my somewhat tight fitting pants.

SPROING!

“Uh…”, I muttered, “did you see where that went?”

Yes, folks — that was a reenactment of me popping a button. It wasn’t pretty but my lovely wife tried to make me feel better instantly.

“Those pants are just poorly made”, she explained, completely ignoring the fact that I put away 12,000 calories the previous weekend.

See, I typically don’t care about my weight unless my pants pop. And even then, I just figured that my pants were washed on hot. Safe to say that while I did eat a few salads over the next few days I drop a few pounds and fit into those pants again. But that’s not my point.

My point is that I never once stepped on a scale. I honestly don’t care how much I weigh as long as my back doesn’t hurt and my gut isn’t hanging over my pants. So it wasn’t a surprise to me, at least, that when my wife took on writing a blog post for Curvy Girl Guide asking women to come clean with what they weigh.

I sat here, amazed for a minute, thinking that this was still an issue. But it is. And I said to my wife these exact words:

“I am not reading your post.”

She looked at me, I’m sure slightly stunned.

“Why aren’t you going to read it?”, she asked.

“Because I don’t need to know. I have never asked, I honestly don’t care. It’s not something that has crossed my mind.”

And then she blurted it out.

I’m not sure why, and I certainly didn’t ask. I guess once you’ve described to other people what your “inners” are it’s pretty much all on the table.

My last post outlined the big changes I’ve had in my life the past three months. Just to get you caught up: accepted a great new job, moved my family to Kansas from San Diego.

The past few months have been a blur. Between taking on a new job and moving the family, there hasn’t been time to write. I’ve missed it and besides my EOT brethren shouldering the load while I was gone, fellow co-founder Curtis Silver has also been extremely patient with my lack of contributions over at Technorati.

Through all of it, I was prioritizing correctly. God and family always come first, followed by my career and then my writing. But the time away has made me realized how much I miss the writing. By putting thoughts in this space, on Technorati, and my own blog, I’m able to get more clarity. I also hear from many of you which always helps with perspective.

The move and all of the challenges have certainly been a stress on just about everything. But as is usually the case, demanding times and high amounts of anxiety eventually lead you to see again just how important your family is to your sanity. Without my wife and my kids, I can’t imagine who I could have made it the past few months. At the same time, knowing that I’ve yanked them 1700 miles across the country for an opportunity also has its only special pressure.

Through it all, everyone has been resilient. It marks as a reminder that you’d be surprised at how much change is sometimes the best opportunity for your family. You’d think kids would be resistant to change and being taken away from support network but they are not. We could learn a lot from our kids about challenging our comfort zone and going out and taking on calculated risks.

For me and my family, the move has been a great change for all of us despite all of the stress and unknowns. It’s all worked out as our new community has been overwhelmingly welcoming and quick to help us adjust. We left some great people back in San Diego, but the difference between the hustle and bustle of Southern California and the down-home realism of suburban Kansas City is huge. And we’re loving it.

The move has created a bunch of different stories, reflections and new questions that I’ll turn into posts here on EOT over the next several weeks.

It’s good to be back. It’s good to be writing again with such a great bunch of Dads.

Hold on, the ride going into 2011 should be a blast.

“OMG!OMG!OMG!

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!”

What could elicit such a response? As I scrolled down to the body of the email I noticed that it’s a promotion for a Hall & Oates show at the Beacon theater in New York. My response:

“Didn’t we see them last year in Brooklyn for free?”

“Yes, but we weren’t up close,” she replies with.

Later that evening, I brought it up as to show what a caring, considerate, thoughtful husband I am.

Me: “Do you really want to go see Hall & Oates again?”

Her: “Nope.”

Me: “What? What changed?”

Her: “I like Hall & Oates but i’m not paying $44-$150 to see them.”

Me: Smile.

Sorry, Oates. No can do-ah.

I am fortunate to work for a great company who has made it amazingly easy to adjust and set us up to find our new home. Right from the get-go, my wife and I have been able to make a separate trip to look for a house, and have been looking since we arrived a few weeks ago.

Armed with news that housing continues to slump throughout the country, we thought heck, it’s a buyers market so we’re going to find a house very quick.

Not so fast.

As the father of four, and a husband, finding a home has been an all consuming activity. Each free day, we’re touring homes and lugging the kids along since we’re new to town and have no one who can babysit. That’s been a challenge but not as big as actually finding a home in the price range we’ve given ourselves.

We have found, what we believe, to be the “perfect” home for our family. The only problem is we’ve been outbid twice. That’s right, outbid.

I guess in some ways it underscores we have good taste because with the inventory that is on the market, the only two houses we’ve been serious about have lots of interest. As much as a house becomes a home, a real estate transaction is a business transaction. You have to do your best to keep emotion out of it. It’s a transaction, or so we tell ourselves.

Just yesterday, we lost out on a house my wife really, really wanted. The kids wanted it. I wanted it. We simply came up short.

After about an hour of negative thinking, I snapped out of it and realized everything happens for a reason. It’s hard but we’re getting through.

Moving is difficult enough. When you lose out on a house, it has a way of deflating the whole family. You just have to trust that things will work out.

With our corporate housing only going 60 days, we sort of have a deadline but don’t want to be forced into buying a home we don’t want. No one wants to “settle” for something with such a big investment.

I don’t know why the Kansas City market is picking up. I don’t see that happening anywhere else, which makes you ask yourself: “what did we do to deserve this?”

Anyway, the family continues to settle in. I don’t like shopping for homes and it’s certainly not our favorite part of our new digs.

As my last post here on the EOT blog stated, moving continues to draw our family closer. The bonds are stronger but the stress level has increased. I assume that’s natural but we’re looking for that break in the clouds.

Especially if it has four bedrooms and a finished basement.

Follow Scott on Twitter @sdgully or email him at sgulbransen@gmail.com. His personal blog, where he writes about leadership and social media, is www.scottgulbransen.com. Scott also a contributor on Technorati,  to the Shamable Blog, and is the Director of Social Media & Digital Content for Applebee’s at their corporate office in Lenexa, Ks.

We have two kids, a six-year-old and a three-year-old (nearly four) and spend time with each of them equally, as best we can. Since I’m working during the week, my wife does a great job in keeping the kids occupied and doing fun things during the summer months. She does painting, coloring, crafts, etc. We also take the kids to the movies, picnics, out to friends’ houses, etc. Basically, our kids do have full schedules between school, fun and activities.

There are times, however, where my wife or I will do separate things with each kid. For example, I took our oldest out to the movies to see “Up.” It was a really fun thing to spend time with just the two of us. Now, it’s not that I’m trying to spoil one over the other, but those situations help create memories and a stronger bond with your child.

When my oldest is in school, my youngest is at home with my wife, which in itself, is a bonding experience.

However, my youngest will go to pre-school this year, leaving my wife without kids for a few hours during the day. What this means is that both kids will be in school and will have equal demands on the school/fun balance. It also means that we will have to do more things together as a family so we keep things fun, exciting and fresh for the kids. However, there are going to be those time when each kid will require, ask or simple need that alone time with either myself or my wife.

It’s a tough thing to balance and I’m sure it’ll get harder as they get older and their needs (social, financial, etc.) change over the years.

For those of you with kids, how do you manage one-on-one time?

The Arboretum in Overland Park, Kansas

The family and I have moved from what some consider America’s Finest City, San Diego, to middle America and Kansas City.

How did we end up deciding to move from beautiful and sunny Southern California to the geographical center of the United States? Well, the answer is complex but I’ll try and share with you some of the reasoning and the crux of it here. I’ll also post several times on what we’re experiencing in our new hometown and how everyone is doing with the big change.

First and foremost, we’re here because of a great opportunity that came my way. Just six months ago, I left my 10-year job at Intuit (maker of TurboTax) for a risky yet intriguing opportunity at Sony Online Entertainment. It was a move that really challenged me to get out of my comfort zone and, ultimately, led me to Kansas City and a new opportunity.

This Monday, I start as the first-ever Director of Social Media & Digital Content at Applebee’s. The world’s largest casual dining chain recognizes the importance of engaging with its customers and I am excited about the job. Be sure to check for more details over at Shamable.com as I get started.

There are other reasons why we left San Diego – my home for over 25 years of my life.

As you all know, California is an economic mess. My family and had just gotten tired of the treadmill that is living in Southern California. Despite its beauty and amazing weather, we wanted a better quality of life at a much lower cost. We tired of 2000 square foot homes on small lots for $600,000. We tired of rising taxes and depleted public services. We wanted more.

Surprisingly, my two oldest kids – 13 and 9 – wanted to leave. They had friends that they’ll miss but they too knew the most important lesson at a time when you move your family across the country – wherever your family is, that is home.

Our move happened fast. Within just five weeks of accepting the job, we were on a plane and saying goodbye to our family and friends in San Diego. Overland Park, Kansas, our new home, welcomed us with open arms and we’re excited to join this vibrant and family oriented community. In fact, Money magazine recently named Overland Park the 7th best place to live in America. In a later post, I’ll even tell you about another EOT Dad and his connection to Overland Park.

For me, it’s sort of the circle of life thing happening in real-time. From the ages of two until 10, my family lived here in Kansas before moving to San Diego. Thirty years later I find myself back to where I had my first memories as a child ready to make new memories with my family.

Sure, we’ll have an adjustment period (soon I’ll tell you about the unexpected twist on our first night here and bed bugs!) but we’re excited about this new chapter in our family’s history. We’re happy and excited about what the future holds.

Moves can be hard on a family. We’ll share with you what we experience over the next few months. But like everything else in life, your attitude and outlook on the future create or undermine your happiness. We’re focused on embracing our new home and making the most of what is an amazing place filled with friendly and helpful neighbors.

We’ll explore the feelings and challenges we face along the way. With millions of families on the move each year, I am sure you’ll know someone who can relate.

Follow Scott on Twitter @sdgully or email him at sgulbransen@gmail.com. His personal blog, where he writes about leadership and social media, is www.scottgulbransen.com. Scott also a contributor on Technorati,  to the Shamable Blog, The Friarhood, and is the Director of Social Media & Digital Content for Applebee’s at their corporate office in Lenexa, Ks.