A quick note from me and the other dads here at Every Other Thursday…

Happy July 4th and a HUGE thank you goes out to the men and women who are serving our country in various parts of the world as well as to those who have made the ultimate sacrifice.

Today is a day where we celebrate who we are as Americans. We celebrate freedom. We celebrate family and friends. We celebrate big-ass cheeseburgers, steak tips, messy ribs and frothy, cold beer.

It’s a day that truly starts the summer months and for us dads, there’s no better of a time than now. There are family vacations, days at the park, kickin’ it in our back yards, loads of photo and video opportunities, etc. It’s the time of year that we spend a great deal of time with those that we work so hard for, cherish and love.

So if you’re a dad, kickin’ it with the fam today, enjoy it. Crack open a brewskie, grill up a hot dog and salute the red, white and blue.

Don Martelli is just a dad, moonlighting as an agency exec, photographer and civilian journalist. He’s the executive editor for Technorati, co-founder of Every Other Thursday and contributor for Wired.com GeekDad blog. Connect with him at www.donmartelli.com or @BigGuyD via Twitter.

Gift #1: Anything featured on a jewelry store TV ad

Unless your wife likes corny, cheap crap don’t waste your time here. Between the cheesy Open Heart collection (which, btw, looks like two butts more than it does two hearts), diamond pendants and other cupid-inspired junk you’re be at the  mall returning it faster than she can finish telling you to “Take it back to Jared”.

Gift #2: A baby

It sound soooo romantic and sweet. “Honey, let’s try for another”. Don’t think with the wrong head this V-Day, man. Think about it: More sleepless nights, more thrilling 2-1, three-hour OT, final score pee wee basketball games, less sex because she’s tired and another college tuition payment hanging over your head. We’re all for having sex, but just remember Rodney Dangerfield’s classic line from “Back to School“: “The best thing about kids – is making ‘em.”

Gift #3: Handmade Card

While it might seem sentimental to make a card for your wife, it’s a bad idea all around. You probably don’t have a great printer at home so it’ll look like something out of Print Shop. And definitely don’t try and hand-write it — years of typing have reduced your penmanship to that of a 2nd grader. Save the amateur crap for your kids. Remember, it’s cute when they do it — and sad when it’s an adult.

Gift #4: No Card

Dude, I totally agree: It’s a made up holiday, so why should I have to drop $6 on a corny piece of badly written tripe? Here’s why: Every other Dad in the neighborhood, at work, at the gym and everywhere else is doing it. Yes, I’m telling you to cave to peer pressure because no one’s wife wants to be That Woman who has to lie to her friends and co-workers because you were too cheap to drop a few dollars. Here’s a tip: Buy a card that has a tasteful image on the outside, black and white pictures are preferred, and is blank on the inside. That way you’re not bound to delivering her a rhyming soliloquy of goofiness that won’t get you laid.

Gift #5: Nude photo

Let’s face it, Dad: You’re not in the same shape you were when you got married. Beer gut, back hair, man boobs – the list goes on and on. There’s a reason they only promote holiday cards with family pictures on them : you’re dressed in a shirt, sweater, possibly a ski mask and maybe even a snowmobile suit to hide your hideous appearance. Stick with what works: take her to dinner, get her drunk, reciprocate in bed and she won’t care that you’re wearing yesterday’s mustard-stained briefs.

Bonus: Exercise equipment

Not sure this one needs a lot of explanation but needless to say that if you’re implying she’s fat and needs to lose weight then you’ll probably be spending next Valentine’s Day paying alimony, sleeping at a Super 8.

There you have it: 5 tips for staying out of the dog house this year. Anything else I missed?

We typically celebrate the day with a BBQ with family and friends and that’s just fine with me. I like to keep things low key and relaxing. Basically, the day is the Superbowl of being a Dad. The best part is, there are no losers.

With that said, here is why it is and how to be, an awesome dad.

Why: Unconditional Love

Your kids are going to love you no matter what. Yea, you could cranky one day and focused on work when they want to go outside and play, but they will forgive you for being snappy with them. They want to be held and cuddled when they get hurt and want daddy’s big arms to be wrapped in.

They want your approval on everything because without dad saying, “oh dude, that’s cool!”, it’s not worth it (it is, but it isn’t if you know what I mean). With daughters, I know they will always be around after they get older, get married, have kids of their own, etc. It’s on a rare occaision that someone who grows up in the greater Boston area, takes off for another state. I don’t why, but we just seem to stick here and that’s fine with me. Not that I want to be a grandfather any time soon, but I’m looking forward to those Father’s Day’s as well.

How: Supporting Wife

Without a supporting wife who takes care of the home, the kids, cooking, cleaning, etc., etc. Father’s Day just isn’t worth it. Your wife is your best friend and right hand lady. All decisions are run through her for a gut check. She’ll be honest and straight up with you in times when that’s absolutely needed. She rules the roost and arguably, has a harder job than you do.

As a dad, we head to work, put in our 10-12 hour days (and if you’re like me, it’s more like 14 with my Technorati gig); you come home, eat dinner, play with the kids and send them off to bed. This is a routine that happens day after day after day after day. The routine just washes over you like summer rain on a 90 degree day. It doesn’t bother you because you know that the water will cool things down. In this case, though, the routine is needed to put food on the table, keep a roof over your family’s head, go on vacation, etc. — do all the times that families do together.

Why: It’s a Great Responsibility

Being a dad is a massive responsibility and anyone that doesn’t take that responsibility seriously should be beaten locked away for life. Yes, being a parent is not an easy thing by no means. But, it is the biggest responsibility of your life. Being a dad takes precedence over everything else. Everything you do is for your family and for them to have a better life. When I mean everything, I mean everything — from the car you purchase; to the life insurance you have; how you manage your finances; how you progress in your career, etc. The list goes on and on.

The responsibility is one that should not be taken lightly and should be cherished. Not everyone can be a parent and the fact that you are entrusted to care for your kids (even when they are parents themselves) is a responsibility that doesn’t have a price tag on it, doesn’t have any playbook to follow or can be done in a wrong or right way. The key is that you take the responsibility head-on and embrace it with every serious bone in your body.

How: Live, Laugh and Love

Of course, none of this is not worth it if you can’t live, laugh and love.

Living: Be sure to do the little things with your kids. Get on the floor and let them wrestle with you. Take them to the park when it’s a zillion degrees out there and you’re tired, but they want to go play. Teach them to do things like ride a bike, plant flowers, explore and just be kids. The best part is, you can be a kid with your kids. Enjoy it and keep reminding yourself to live life with them to the fullest.

Laugh: Laughter is such a big key to being a good dad. Your kids will think everything you do is funny — until they are teenagers and you become “that” dad. Laughter can’t pay your bills nor can’t fix a hole in the roof, however it can patch broken hearts, dry tears and bring you closer together as a family.

Love: All of this isn’t worth it if there’s no love in your life. Love your kids and wife unconditionally as they love you. Despite all the things they will do as they get older and weave their way through life’s challenges, just love them. Yes, there will be times that you’re steaming at something they did, but you’re going to love them regardless. Showing them affection is free. There are no cost barriers. Since it’s free, give it away in boat loads. Hug ‘em. Kiss ‘em. Tickle ‘em. Cuddle with ‘em. Just love them. It’s not hard, so do it all the time, every day, as much as you possibly can.

So, to all the Dads out there, including my pops who is a good role model my brother and I and a guy that wrote the daddy playbook for me, happy Father’s Day.

Don Martelli is just a dad, moonlighting as a PR exec, photographer and civilian journalist. He’s the executive editor for Technorati, a co-founder of Every Other Thursday and is a contributing writer for Shamable and the PR Finish Line. Connect with him at www.donmartelli.com or @bigguyd via Twitter.

Long story short, the mothers of our children got the home-thing on lock down. They are our CFOs, in-house chefs, psychologists, comedic entertainment, iron first ruler when it comes to keeping the kids (and us dads) in line, home makeover experts, fashion consultants, and, most important, our consigliere.

Basically, they do it all and don’t get the credit they deserve. So, in true EoT fashion, here is our first annual Mothers Day Tribute Poem:

This is a tribute to moms,
But don’t think we’ll be quoting any Psalms.
It’s a short little piece of writing
That won’t have any classical citings.
It’s a big thank you for all that you do
Because otherwise, we’d be screwed.

Us EoT dads are typically easy-going, fun loving, meat-heads
Who’d rather not go for a walk, but rather spend Sunday morning farting in bed.
We like our beer and cigars during man-town sessions,
Despite the repercussions due to the lack your permission.
We’d rather spend an hour burning food on the grill
Than doing courtesy time with your high school FB friends who bring beer swill.

For all our manliness and off-color, comedic chest beating
We really do appreciate all you do, regardless of the occasional bitching.
So, on this mothers day, we EoT dads are happy to  declare
We’ll be ready for those every other Thursday’s when you give us that certain glare.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Who doesn't love the Easter Beagle?

Easter is such a great holiday for me. No, I’m not going to rant on Catholicism and religion. For me, Easter is about good food, good conversations and good times spent with the people that I’m close with in my life. It’s one of those laid back holidays where you’re not worried about a car packed full of gifts or having to stress over how many stops you might have to make that day. It’s probably the most laid back holiday for me and probably due to the fact that spring comes with it. At that point, people are ready for the warm weather (in New England).

It’s also a fun time with the kids as there are lots of opportunities for photos via Easter Egg hunts and their expression of happiness when the realize that the Easter Bunny dumped a bunch of candy and stuff in their house just for them.Now, my wife tends to go overboard with these types of holidays (as the video below can attest to), but that’s ok. I like spoiling my kids. That’s my job as a parent.

Do the kids understand why we have Easter? Yes, but like I said, this isn’t one of those posts.

For me, Easter is one big ass photo shoot. The kids are all dressed up and looking cute as all heck. With the camera gear I have, I feel like I’m the paparazzi (Canon 30D and Canon Vixia HF10). I’m shooting from all types of angles and getting all types of footage.

Here’s a quick video from the morning of. I’ll be sure to post the Easter Egg Hunt mayhem event in a later post.

Long story short, while the kids have fun during these holidays, I think parents get more out of it because we get to live these memories over and over again.

Here’s why:

Vacation time is over. Work is right around the corner.

I hate taking totes up and down the friggin’ stairs. I hate it, especially when I’m putting them away for another year.

I have to go outside and freeze my butt off because I need to take the lights down. I don’t want to be THAT house, leaving their outside decorations up through July 4th.

The house feels empty. With the winter wonderland my wife sets up in our humble home, it makes things feel even more cozy. Then the stuff is packed up and stored away, the house is left with a few “seasonal” snowmen and the impending Valentine’s Day crap (Hallmarks way of torturing men). Things just feel colder, winter colder, if you know what I mean.

The biggest reason is the time at home with the family. Sleeping late, snuggling on the couch with the kids, bath time, book reading, putting together toys, etc. I love it all. Sometimes the toy putting together thing is a pain in the butt, however, it’s worth it as the kids go ape sh*t over new stuff.

While I love my job and love what I do, I’m just not ready to go back to the office and start another year. I’m confortable still living in 2009, thank you very much. Too bad there wasn’t a snooze button I could hit a few more times.

Photo: Las Vegas Convention & Visitor's Authority

A few months back, I wrote a post about the importance of Date Night for married couples with kids. I vowed back then to make it a priority and to make more time for my wife and I to grow our own relationship.

As the year comes to an end, I hate to admit it but we’ve been a complete failure. This wasn’t due to us not making it a priority, but instead due to the birth of our fourth child, my own health issues and a lost November when my 2 year old son was diagnosed with Celiac Disease.

I am reminded about our failure at Date Night this time of the year. As other couples tell us about their fabulous plans for New Year’s Eve, my wife and I glance at each other and remember the last time we went out for the year’s biggest party.

The year was 1996 and the venue was the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas. Through my contacts in Las Vegas, I had secured hot tickets to the Hootie & The Blowfish show at The Joint inside the hotel. we had only been married six months and my wife was already three months pregnant with our first child so she couldn’t drink. It was a good show, even though I had a personal run-in with Tiger Woods – a story I’ll share here another time.

That’s right. The last time this couple – almost married 14 years – went out for New Year’s Eve was 13 years ago.

That sucks.

I am always amazed that you folks find babysitters to watch your kids on that night of nights. During our entire marriage, not one family member, babysitter or friend has offered the gift of selflessness and offered to watch our kids. Not once. Zilch. Nada.

It’s gotten so bad that usually we’re in bed before Midnight strikes. We’re content to celebrate on Eastern Daylight Time and call it a night by 11pm. Although I’ve officially reached middle age at 40 now, my wife is a few years younger and we’re not senior citizens. But we feel like we are every December 31st.

I’d like to say we’ll do something next year, but it never, ever seems to work out. At this point, we’ve given up.

What I want to know is how everyone else gets to do it. Do tell because if I have to spend another NYE watching the Nickelodeon countdown I may jump off a bridge. One can only take so many year-end Jonas Brothers countdowns.

This is a plea: share with me your secrets so we can get out one of these years.

I also hope you and yours have a prosperous New Year filled with success, happiness and joy.

Follow Scott on Twitter @prgully or email him at scott@everyotherthursday.com. His personal blog, where he writes about public relations and social media, is www.scottgulbransen.com. His next speaking engagement is at the Business Development Institute’s Social Integration Conference, January 13, 2010 in New York.

Instead of rambling on and on, I figured that I would do a multiple camera deal and share a brief video.

How was your Christmas morning?

Some time in the mid-1990s, these picture cards became the standard for families to send at Christmastime. I can’t deny their appeal and efficiency. They kill two birds with one stone by sending some holiday cheer and a photo of the kids, and I do appreciate the fact that people include me on their sending list. But, to me, they are uncreative and impersonal. They are not even hand-signed most of the time, and the photos often aren’t even very Christmasy. On top of that, at some point it became acceptable for childless couples and single people to send pictures of their pets! There’s nothing that says Christmas like a picture of Fluffy, the orange goldfish from Uncle Marty’s cubicle.

It’s not that I’m a humbug – anymore – but I miss the true Christmas card. When I was a kid, we used to hang them around a door jam. From the day the first Christmas card arrived, I would run to the mailbox each day hoping for more just so we had more to hang. It was better than an Advent calendar.

I would tear into each envelope waiting to see who would send what. For example, some people chose some really funny or cartoon-type ones. Others went more generic with a “Season’s Greetings” every year. Then there were folks who would invariably send one with Gospel passages about the birth of Christ. Then, of course, we would judge them, and the ones we liked best would get the best spot at my eye level.

This year, we’ve been fortunate to receive Christmas wishes from several people, and we’ve reciprocated, but the card that was the most memorable was one from some friends of our which was an actual card complete with a Gospel passage. And inside was a picture of their three children, dressed in Christmas clothes posing with Santa. Bam! They nailed it. The art of sending a family photo and a Christmas card all in one.

Another card that left an impression was just a simple one from a family member who lives far away. It was simply signed with “Merry Christmas” and “love”. The card itself wasn’t anything grand. It was a simple Christmas wish. But it was the effort that mattered to me. It was a card that was hand-signed.

I know this may seem like I’m being picky. Sure, it’s enough to simply the thought of. I’ve admitted that. But with Christmas cards, it’s not the “thought” that should count but the “effort.” In this age where an e-mail “thanks” (or even a Facebook wall post) has replaced the formal “Thank-you” card, there needs to be a minimum standard for Christmas cards.

If you make our Christmas card list, look for a real card. Maybe there’s a picture of our son inside. Perhaps next year there will be a photo with two kids. But just know that we are maintaining a lost standard to send individualized and personalized Christmas wishes. Merry Christmas to all!

Imagine my surprise, then, when I swung by the EOT blog this morning to find yet another salvo in the one sided “War on Christmas.” Where do I start? First my bona fides: I was born and raised Catholic, married a Jewish woman then later converted to Judaism in my late 20s. I now head up a lovely and entirely Jewish family in a diverse but overwhelmingly Christian town outside of Boston.  I don’t think this gives me extra authority on this “War on Christmas” thing. It does allow me to write from the perspective of someone who spent the first quarter century of his life as part of a religious majority, only to become part of what the War on Christmas folks like to point out is a tiny religious minority in this country — albeit one with an unbroken, 3,000 year old religious tradition that has produced an astoundingly disproportionate number of the world’s great writers, artists, musicians, scientists and religious and political philosophers, including 180 Nobel Prize winners and one Jesus of Nazareth. But I digress.

Next, let’s talk about the practical reality of holiday wishes. Here’s how it works: if you’re a Christian and you’re greeting a friend or family member or acquaintance who is also Christian, then you say “Merry Christmas!” and they respond in kind. Similarly, I greet the folks down at my Temple with a hearty “Happy Hanukkah!” or “Chag Sameach” (Hebrew for…wait for it… “Happy Holiday!”) In contexts where you don’t know what tradition people are coming from, you modulate. Happy Hanukkah is a safe bet at Shul, but I’d hardly greet the ladies at Starbucks that way, because I have no way of knowing whether they celebrate my holiday or not. Just rolling along and assuming they do is boorish. “Happy Holidays,” I’ve noticed, brings a smile to their face every time. We humans are amazingly social beings and modulate ourselves this way thousands of times every day to maintain social harmony. Its really rooted deep down in our natures.

Happy Hanukkah, everyone!

Which brings me to the thesis, which I state without any hesitation or doubt: O’Reilly and Dobson’s “War on Christmas”  is a steaming pile of holiday bulls**t with a Christmas bow on top. Yes, Virginia, there is no War on Santa – organized or otherwise. Nor are religious minorities clamoring to own a piece of American’s holiday cheer real estate.

What religious and ethnic minorities in this country (including the burgeoning category of non-believers) do want is what they’ve always wanted: the freedom to practice their faith (or lack thereof) free from persecution, whether at the hands of the government or of some tyrannical majority. Government sanctioned religious persecution is, after all, one of the things that drove immigrants to these shores in the first place. They included my Irish Catholic ancestors and  my wife’s grandparents on both sides of her family. Her paternal grandfather, a Jewish tailor from Lithuania was smart enough to look around him and realized that the Jim Dobson’s and Bill O’Reilly’s of the day had created a system of laws and cultural practices in which Jews could never get ahead. Period. He came to Boston with nothing in his pocket at the age of 30, saved up his money to bring his bride over from Vilna and then operated his own tailor shop in a small town west of Boston for more than five decades. Mending others clothes, he raised two Ivy-League educated doctors and a registered nurse. I don’t know whether he wished his customers a hearty “Merry Christmas” during the holiday season– I doubt he did. I also doubt the good townspeople would  have been arrogant enough to demand it of him. Those were different times.

I say this because, in the end, what I read behind in O’Reilly and Dobson is a  thinly veiled argument for intolerance – religious, social and cultural. We live in a “democratic society and culture”  the argument goes, and in democracies the majority rules.  ”Equal time” for non Christian practice is, therefore, inherently “undemocratic.” This is the kind of cereal box civics lesson that O’Reilly and crew favor and, even on the face of it, its bogus. Even if this conversation were about the law, we live in a country in which laws are rooted in our civil Constitution — a document that goes out of its way to not talk about religion and guarantees equal rights to every citizen, whether they’re members of the majority or a minority. Those rights  trump the will of the majority and there are countless examples from our own history where the basic rights of a tiny minority are enforced to the great consternation of the majority. Can you say “Little Rock Nine?” I can.

But whether you say “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” isn’t about law, its about social customs – even if O’Reilly and others would like to see cultural conformity legislated in some way. (They would.) I think what folks in the “War on Christmas” camp may be reacting to is a broad consensus that has developed in the last couple decades that the U.S. is  a diverse place and that’s not a bad thing.  In fact, our diversity as a nation is something worth celebrating, not lamenting. Its a source of our strength as a nation. The problem is, celebrating diversity means not sweeping difference under the rug, as may have happened in the past. It also means treating people who are different than you as equals, not inferiors. This is America as a tapestry rather than America as a  ”melting pot,” and not everyone likes a tapestries. Not everyone likes the idea that being American isn’t synonymous with being, looking, acting and believing just like them.

Fortunately, America is better than this.  Just as an example: when I and my wife were growing up, we were required to sing Christmas carols in school each year. Being Christian at the time, I didn’t think twice about having to sing praises to the baby Jesus in public school. Needless to say, it was a different experience for my wife, who was raised Jewish.

These days , our kids sing lovely holiday songs in school, just ones that aren’t overtly religious. In electives like my daughter’s town wide chorus, melodies from various traditions are just part of the cannon. I attended a holiday performance two weeks ago that my daughter performed in that included Christmas carols, secular holiday songs, the Hanukkah classic Sevivon and African folk melodies. Everyone enjoyed it.

Now some might argue that all this is bad – evidence of political correctness watering down what’s truly “American.”  The subtext to that kind of argument, of course, is that these traditions aren’t equal to each other — that the tradition with the most adherents, numerically, is the superior tradition. Sevivon, by this logic, isn’t a gorgeous song that’s just as worthy of performance as any Christmas carol– its the beneficiary of a kind of cultural affirmative action. “Sorry, Sevivon, you’re just here ’cause you’re Jewish.” But my town didn’t cop out by including a Hanukkah song. What it did was grow:  broadening its definition of itself to include amazing songs that happen to be from  non-Christian traditions. The concert that resulted was enhanced, not diminished by its diversity, just like our society is.

Frankly, I take comfort that  its easier today for my daughters and other minorities to look around them and see difference embraced in both popular culture and the engines of state — whether that’s Barack Obama’s brown face behind the Presidential Podium, or the new Rebecca Rubin American Girl doll, or gay and lesbian couples marrying and living openly and happily in the places where my children live and go to school. My girls are more free to practice their faith openly and be who they are — who G_d made them to be — without recriminations or discrimination than at almost any other time in our country’s history. Now that’s a holiday blessing.