A friend shared this weekend’s NBA Hall of Fame Induction video with me where Dennis Rodman breaks down several times on stage while trying to deliver his acceptance speech. In it, he thanks the men in his life (not his father) that supported him, were a shoulder to cry on, and someone that showed him respect. Also in the video, Dennis says that he wishes he was a better father and husband. While some Dads had an amazing blueprint to work from, a lot of Dads don’t have the roadmap and either disappear or end up repeating the same pattern – potentially abusive - that their Dad did.
I’m here to tell you that it’s never too late to start being a great Dad. That shit you said to your kids last week that drove you to the bottle? They forget about it if you stop the pattern. Working a lot and never seeing your kids? There’s a remedy for that — find a job (or create your own) that allows you to see them more. It’s not too late. It’s never too late.
How do I know? I did it. A few years ago I used to hit the road 6-8 times a month for my job. Several co-workers commented on how it was absurd that I was never home with my family; at the time I didn’t care because I was too busy climbing the corporate ladder and didn’t think twice about what impact it was having on my kids. Back then my kids would welcome me home only because my wife told them to; I was nonexistent in their lives and it showed. Their grades we average and their growth in activities, such as sports, lacked severely because I wasn’t there to coach them.
This all changed when I saw my oldest son throw a baseball and not know how to catch a fly ball during our town’s “In-town baseball”, which means there aren’t any tryouts. I started looking at my habits, my schedule and the selfish behavior I exhibited (drinks after work, taking a later train, etc) and thought one thing: “This is on me”.
My youngest son and I fishing in the Catskills
The next week I took my son outside with our mitts and, thanks to the miracle of YouTube, showed him how to throw a perfect ball (or strike, as the case may be). He and I went over to the baseball diamond where I showed him how to pitch and caught for him, and by mid-season he was a starting pitcher. Amazing, to say the least, but it would’ve never happened had I not made the conscious effort to spend the time and re-connect with him. All three of my boys are different in their personalities and passions, but I can say today that I have a better relationship and know them better than ever before. I forgot about being a shit Dad and re-prioritized my life to help build them into solid men.
Listen to Dennis’s words and how it affects a grown man not having a father who’s there for him. I got choked up a few times during his acceptance speech thinking back to how that could’ve been my son had I not decided to be there for them.
Well done my friend.
Well done indeed. Glad to hear a man put his family before himself.
Kate
@wilkinsonjk
Rodman is the best. It’s too bad Chuck Daly couldn’t have been there with him.
He’s had a hard life, but he always tries to do good. It’s why he was the consummate teammate.
And nicely done, Binko.
Dave this is really touching. Thank you for sharing and glad you’re in a better place now
It’s kind of great not to be traveling all the time. I agree. Congrats on your new venture.