I’m not gonna lie – I like titties. Unless they are on ugly fat chicks. The point is, I like the female form. I can’t help but check it out, objectify it and make sexist comments around my friends about said women. I’m a tit man, I’m an ass man, I’m a leg, hair & eyes man. I like it all. The total package. There are so many ways to find a woman physically attractive it’s like being stoned and walking into a fucking Baskin Robbins. Without fat chicks.
Being a man, and for the above reasons I often comment on a hot woman’s appearance to whatever guys I happen to be around. If I’m not around any, then I make the comment in my head. But there are rules to such behavior, rules that many men don’t observe.
First, you never comment on another man’s girl, provided you know the other man and he happens to be around you. Once one of your boys is in a relationship, his woman is no longer a sex object. The best way to avoid picturing your friends wife or girlfriend naked is to pretend she’s a fat chick, or at least has the personality of one. I’m talking about the mean fat chicks, not the cute pudgy chicks. The exception to this rule is that you can comment on the woman when her significant other is not around, then it’s okay.
Second, never admire another woman verbally while with your significant other. That’s just stupid. Not even the hand of Zeus can keep you from looking, but be discreet. My own personal method is looking at everyone, regardless of hotness. That way, I’m just looking at everyone and if one of them happens to be a hot chick, then that’s a bonus. It’s worth it for all the scraggly old people and fatties.
Third, never check out women at the gym. It’s creepy. Stop it. The only time I blatantly do it is when I’m in the service box on the Racquetball court. The back of the court is Plexiglas, and it looks like I’m just looking at my opponent. The guys who stand around oogling chicks are probably the same ones who will try to date rape them later.
Fourth, and this is the most important one – never objectify women around children. Never. Unless those children are deaf and can’t read lips, then it shouldn’t be a problem. Oh, and it’s still okay to make fun of fat people as a whole, just don’t single out fat chicks.
To expand on this, One has to be careful when making sexist comments around the children, especially if those children are boys. You have to think, do I want my kids growing up as sexist and biased as I am? Sadly, there are many fathers that don’t think like this and their kids turn out just like them. Ass slapping disrespectful clods that still manage to bag all the broken and downtrodden women.
Because it works both ways, the daughters who see their fathers treat their mothers with disrespect grow up thinking that’s how women are supposed to be treated, like objects to be groped and gawked at. Again, this kind of behavior starts and stops with the parents, and is more prevalent in poorer communities. Either with blacks or with whites, the more 40oz of Natural Light consumed in a household, the worse off they probably are when it comes to the treatment of women.
So you are sitting there in your chair, porn open in one window, your wife in the kitchen cooking dinner and the kids in bed, wondering, “how can we change this objectification of women?” We can’t. Titties rule. Just don’t objectify them around the kids and respect them when they are in front of you. When you are alone or with your homies, objectify away. Be sexist, tell them what you’d “do to her” and so on. That’s what guys do. So women, if you happen to walk in on that kind of behavior, just know that we respect and cherish you, we just like titties.
Plus, it’s not like you women aren’t gathering around in your little tea circles talking about cock.
El em ay oh!!!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Patrick Hester, Curtis Silver. Curtis Silver said: Hey, I actually have a new post @eotblog! To wit: I like titties. http://bit.ly/9kdKiG [...]