Lasting friendships enrich our lives.
One of the lessons I always try to teach my kids is about the importance of long-term relationships and friendship.
I was reminded again about how important these relationships are just this past weekend as I welcomed an old friend over for dinner.
My friend Brian and I have known each other since 1985. a 25-year friendship is a precious thing and something I value very much. Fortunately, I have 5-6 friends I’ve known this long and it really has enriched my life.
Despite Brian and I practically being brothers, we had not seen or really spoken in several years. This despite the fact we live about 6 miles from one another here in San Diego. Life is funny that way, as you have kids, wives, jobs, and lives that don’t always allow you the time to keep up with people. Even though it had been some time, once we started chatting again, it was like 1985 all over again. You just pickup where you left off. That’s the beauty of true friendship and lifelong friendship – it’s meaningful and it lasts.
While catching up with Brian and his lovely wife Molly, I thought of the conversations I’ve had with my kids. They’re very young but the idea of having a friend that long and the importance of relationships like that are not lost on them. Seeing Dad’s friends from when he was 15 or 16 shows them, despite life’s ups and downs, there are people you are connected to throughout your life.
There’s no question that time slips up on us as we grow older. Once two teenagers hanging out back in the 1980s, Brian and I are both family guys with kids and wives that keep us balanced and pointed in the right direction. There’s no doubt that life’s joys and challenges have changed us over the past 25 years. Even though that is true, we literally can pick up a conversation as if no time had passed between our last conversation. Perhaps going through the angst of growing up and all of that craziness just bonds you.
After Brian and his family left our home, my wife and kids both talked about what great people Brian and his family were. The kids all go a long and everyone seemed to have a great, casual time catching up and starting on new memories. This was satisfying to me as both a friend and father as I could mix the great glory days of my youth with the center of my life now – my family. Because my old friend Brian is extended family, we’ve now started to bond our families as well. This lesson is something important for my kids to learn and I am glad I was able to do it.
As I told my 13 year old daughter – true friends will always be true friends. You come and go in each others’ lives sometimes but, in the end, they’re always there for you and vice versa. True friendship doesn’t keep score on the number of times you’ve talked over the past two years or even if you received a Christmas card last winter. True friendship endures because it always includes unconditional love, forgiveness, openness, honesty and a desire to share your experiences with one another.
In the past couple of years I have begun to reconnect with many of my old friends including Brian. This connection to my roots and how I was and how I am today is fulfilling in a way I can’t fully explain. It’s a testament to the relationships we’ve forged together and the fact life and it’s beauty and ugliness can’t erase those bonds. It’s something my kids are learning from their old man and I hope they live their lives the same way.
As my friend Brian says: “It’s like I just saw you a few days ago and we’re picking up where we left off.”
I hope my kids know that feeling one day and that my example, and the example of friends like Brian, help them forge relationships as strong.
Follow Scott on Twitter @sdgully or email him at scott@scottgulbransen.com. His personal blog, where he writes about leadership, public relations and social media, is www.scottgulbransen.com. Scott also contributes to the Shamable Blog, The Friarhood, and is the Sr. Director of Global Public Relations for Sony Online Entertainment.
I think our kids are going to be much better at maintaining those relationships than our generation is. They are growing up with email, Facebook, and other tools that make it easy to stay in touch. It's becoming the expected behavior, whereas with us it's still sort of novel that we stay in touch with people from 20+ years ago.
Great post!