The EoT Darwin Award is bestowed on those special dads (and sometimes moms) who go above and beyond the title of moron. They exemplify the reason why there should be testing for those that are humanly capable of conceiving children. And, as a result, should be locked away on the Island of Misfit Toys with nothing but a gun with one bullet in it.
Yes, you read the headline correctly. Our latest Darwin Award Winner tried to swap his baby for beer.
Chicopee police say a man faces a child endangerment charge after allegedly offering to swap his 3-month-old daughter for a pair of 40-ounce beers.
Police say 24-year-old Matthew Brace of Northampton made the offer to a maintenance man outside a gas station convenience store on Monday. The maintenance man called police, who say they found Brace hiding with the girl behind a trash container.
Contrary to belief, I do love beer but would never, ever, ever swap one of my kids for beer. That’s just insanely ridiculous and to put it bluntly, frickin’ idiotic. Is Brace that out of touch with reality that this kid/beer swap thing would actually work?
I mean, 40 ounce beers aren’t typically that good to begin with so if you’re going to make this attempt, try and get your hands on a case of 90-minute IPA from Dogfish.
Kidding.
Seriously though, this is exactly why we men are considered morons at times and why there should be a rigorous test for every man (and woman for that matter) who can have kids (because not everyone who can have kids, wants kids, if you know what I mean). There’s a lengthy approval process for just about everything we consume (food, merchandise, etc.). But when it comes to being a parent, any moron can be one. This winner proves that.
This determines how bad that parent was. Hope he will be punished for what he did on the baby.