W T F?
For the original Man Rules posting, please check out this post. Here are another ten fantastically accurate Man Rules.
The Pine Scent Rule: It is perfectly ok for a man to rub a pine scent air freshener over a slightly dirty (read: stinky) shirt in lieu of a full wash. However, this only applies when time is of the essence.
The B.Y.O.B. BBQ Rule: If you are coming to my BBQ, and I’m grilling you food that I bought and providing entertainment, whether it be a swimming pool or loose strippers you better fucking bring me no less than a six pack of mid grade or higher beer. If you show up empty handed or with a sixer of Pabst I will put your face on the grill while shoving each Pabst up your ass, leaving the bottle tops on.
The Shirtless Basketball Rule: In a pick-up basketball game, leave your shirt on. If you can’t tell who is on your team in a three on three game, you are a retard. While taking your shirt off might be more comfortable, no one wants to rub up against your hairy gut while blocking a layup. Plus flop sweat on the ball is completely unacceptable.
The Massage Rule: It is not acceptable to pop wood during a routine massage. However, it is acceptable to pop wood if you are at a massage parlor where that is not only expected, but encouraged.
The Oprah Rule: No man should EVER willingly watch the Oprah Winfrey show. Exceptions to this rule are seeing her big head while flipping, or being forced to watch the show by a really hot piece of ass who is willing to do all those kinky things you’ve only fantasized about. Other than that, no Oprah. h/t @sdgully
The Mr. T Rule: Mr. T is awesome. No matter what. If that mother fucker puts on a dress and starts a crotchet club on QVC – still awesome. Also, “I pity da foo” is applicable in ALL situations.
The Methane Rule: If cows can stand around and fart all day, so can you. If it’s in a field, and you are grazing. Otherwise, find some place where your co-workers aren’t congregating to let loose. There are many fart rules, this is just one.
The BBQ Sauce Rule #23: Barbecue sauce on pancakes. Just sayin. Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it.
That’s it for this weeks’ edition of the man rules here at EoT. If you have any man rules of your own that I might not know about go ahead and leave them in the comments or if you want to remain fairly anonymous, email me at cebsilver@gmail.com or hit me up on Twitter @cebsilver.
