Overall, I’d like to think I am overly responsive to my kids and their need for time with Dad.

Flickr: respres

But sometimes, things in life get crazy and the “Dad, can you shoot some baskets with me?” has to be answered with an exhausted no.

That doesn’t mean it’s easy.

This week I started a new job and, needless to say, my brain is full and overloaded. Trying to learn a new place and a new business takes a lot out of you the first few weeks. That’s especially true when you’ve been at your previous employer for almost 10 years. It’s all new – very exciting and different – but also a little overwhelming.

I am always excited to see my kids when I get home from work. It’s really the highlight of my day. They’re so eager to share with me details of their day and what adventures found them since we parted in the morning. Usually, I have enough energy to really engage them. But sometimes, you just don’t.

Yesterday was one of those days. My son wanted to play catch with Dad but Dad was on empty. That means a quick no which squashed his youthful excitement to see Dad and the sullen, shoulders-forward reaction followed.

“Can’t you just play for a little while?

Ugh.

I was asked this question while I still had one leg in the car. I hadn’t even gone in the house yet. That didn’t matter to an excited kid who just wanted to spend some time with his father.

This is where the onset of parental guilt settles in. You have every right not to play ball with your kid but it feels awful. As parents we constantly (at least most of us) put the needs of our kids above ourselves. So why does it feel so awful when you do put yourself first sometimes?

I take being a good father very seriously. So when I feel like I am not cutting it, it cuts deep. I know it’s a self-imposed pressure, but it stings.

I wonder too how much of the guilt comes from our kids who know exactly how to push our buttons – especially the puppy-dog eyes guilt button. Either way, I hate being in the position.

I do know swinging too much the other way to “make up” for a busy day isn’t a good idea.

Part of the reason I write for the EOT Blog is because I love to hear from other fathers on their point of view. What helps you get through these situations?

I know I’ll make up the time with my son – and other three kids – this weekend. That doesn’t take the sting away in the short term.

Follow Scott on Twitter @sdgully or email him at scott@everyotherthursday.com. His personal blog, where he writes about public relations and social media, is www.scottgulbransen.com. Scott also contributes the the Shamable Blog and is known as the Gluten Free Father and reviews GF food.

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