Out of the great state of California comes another pandering story of blatant pandering to one sub group of whining idiots. It seems that in the school district of Menifee Union they have decided to ban the Dictionary from school shelves due to it defining oral sex. That’s right, the actual dictionary. The Merriam-Webster dictionary. Wait a second, oral sex is in the dictionary? I know I spent a good part of my youth looking up curse words in the dictionary, but they list sex acts?
The school district said, “‘It’s hard to sit and read the dictionary, but we’ll be looking to find other things of a graphic nature.” Are you fucking kidding me? They are going to scan the dictionary looking for curse words and what they deem inappropriate? Are they going to ban the encyclopedia too? This just stinks of a snap decision based off the opinions and heated whining of one idiot parent who wants their kid to live in a freaking bubble. If you want your kid to live in a bubble, then put them in a goddamn bubble. Don’t piss and moan until you get your communist agenda to go your way.
This is not good for kids. I’m not saying kids should know what oral sex means or even is, but they should have the absolute right to look shit up in the fucking dictionary! We can’t protect our children from all the naughty things in the world, have you met the internet? One can only wonder what led that parent to look for the definition of oral sex and then decided to wage a campaign against the dictionary. I’m guessing the conversation in that house went like this.
Father: “Honey, think we can poke a hole in the sheet tonight and have intercourse.”
Mother: “We just did.”
Father: “That was last summer.”
Mother: “Oh, didn’t realize.”
Father: “Well, there must be something else we can do. What’s that thing you do when you put the man’s penis in your mouth?”
Mother: “What? That’s not a real thing. You are making that up. It sounds disgusting.”
Father: “No, really. It’s real. I bet it’s in the dictionary. Hold on.” Gets the dictionary. “See, right there – oral sex.”
Child: (standing in doorway) “What’s oral sex?”
Father: “….”
Mother: “….”
Child: “Is it oral stimulation of the genitals? Because that’s what it implies.”
Father: “Where did you learn that?”
Child: “The dictionary, in school. Duh. You have it in your hand.”
Father: “Aaah! Dirty! Dirty! Damn schools and their learning materials! I will have the dictionary banned!”
Mother: “This conversation has gotten me hot. You can give me a back rub.”
Father: “Score!”
Child: “Then oral sex?”
Father/Mother: “Go to bed!”
Mind you, the phrases of cunnilingus and fellatio have been in the dictionary for a long time. Why the outrage now? Especially when you consider that learning about oral sex at a young age might lead to a drop in teen pregnancy. There are tons of phrases in the dictionary that can be deemed inappropriate, but that’s not the point is it? The point is there are still tons of parents out there that are simply afraid to be honest with their children. There are schools that give in to this lack of honesty by pandering to weak parents. Until this changes, there will be a small handful of Californian children that won’t know what oral sex is until they are getting it behind the bleachers in high school, at which point they won’t give a shit what it’s called.
