A little bit before Christmas, my wife and I learned from one of her friends that her husband was…if not criminally abusive, then probably close to it. At the very least, it was definitely not how a husband or father — or a real man — should treat his family.
We’re making sure to stay in contact with her (she’s in town) and have already told her that, if ANYTHING happens and she needs a place to stay, she can call on us. ANY TIME. ANY. TIME.
I don’t recall if it was during that conversation or if it just came to mind, but a common Bible phrase used in weddings is from Ephesians, 5:22-29, with a oft-quoted portion of that passage being:
“Wives, submit to your own husbands….”
Of course, the latter part of that passage is of often forgotten:
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her….In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh….”
I’m not getting religious on you — as I’m sure many non-Christians are at least somewhat familiar with that passage, or other wedding vows that tell wives to obey their husbands.
I’m simply saying that neither wedding vows nor any other type of relationship between a man and a woman, or a man and a child gives him the right or authority to be abusive. Physically, mentally, emotionally or any other type.
Relationships are not easy, and I by no means am perfect (just ask my wife). Numerous times we have told our kids that they must not be afraid to tell an adult any time they have been touched the wrong way or otherwise abused — even if it is by one of us.
I don’t have any domestic abuse or counseling recommendations to give you. There’s enough if you just do a Google search.
I’m just saying that, if you are not acting as a husband should, or a father should — or as a man should — you know you are doing something wrong. Stop it, and get help if you have to.
If you’re a victim, I can’t tell you what to do because each situation is unique. Simply, if any part of you feels you need help or to get out, go do it. Now.
-Mike
NOTE: While most domestic violence is a man against a woman, I know the reverse happens. The end message is the same. If you are in the wrong, stop. If you are a victim, seek help.
Image credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/labanex/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
Terrific post, man.