Will my kids listen to Uncle Sam?

Today is one of those days where you woke up and expected things to go smoothly and happily only to find yourself yelling at your kids and losing your temper.

It’s also a business travel day for me which makes the outburst I threw down on my two oldest kids today even harder to deal with. As other business travelers with families know, you want to walk out that door on a high note with your family smiling and waving a hearty goodbye until you come back home in a few days.

Instead, my kids are probably glad “that yelling guy” won’t be around for a few days.

Perhaps the toughest job a parent has is trying to correct their children without sounding like a complete raving lunatic. As someone who has been more of the lunatic vs. the Ward Cleaver type father the past few weeks, I have to say I am tired of the kids whining. My smack down this morning was me pressing the nuclear button on weeks of whining and bickering between my 12-year old and 9-year old. My fellow EOT blogger – and misguided Patriots fan – Don Martelli recently posted on communicating with your kids. It’s good advice and something we should all take to heart.

Central to the issue: a 12-year old daughter who is rapidly approaching the “know-it-all” teenage years and a 9-year old son who is over sensitive about what his sister says to him. This creates a vicious circle of one bossing around the other and the other feeling all emotional about it.

All of this incessant whining is driving me and my wife absolutely bonkers. We’re at our wit’s end.

Are we to blame?

You bet your ass!

As much as I think always that we’re “strict” parents in relation to others we encounter through the kids school, church, youth sports – the bottom line is we need to do more to give our kids more responsibility. Our kids are fit and active but this “softness” in mentality is what is contributing to our kids being fatter and lazier than ever.

At the end of the day, this all comes back to effective parenting. Parents need to stop whining and raise their kids to be responsible young people. This means telling your kids “no” and means not trying to make their lives all shits and giggles. Life is not easy and life isn’t always fun. If we try and protect our kids too much, we do them harm. If we protect them too little, we put them in harm’s way.

The key word here is balance. My wife and I struggle with this balance from time to time. I am sure all parents do.

We need to teach our kids to have, what my good friend calls, the “victor” mentality, not a “victim” mentality. In today’s popular culture our kids are surrounded by the victim mentality. It’s up to us parents to teach them not to whine but to take control of their actions and reactions. This life lesson is vital to their future successes and failures. They learn equally – perhaps more – from failures.

My failure as a father this morning – the yelling, ranting and raving over breakfast – was another way for me to teach them not how to react to stress and difficult situations. I’ll have to wait until my trip is over to sit them down and own up to it. But I will do it and I think they’ll be better kids, and I a better father because of it.

Let’s just all stop the whining.

Follow Scott on Twitter @prgully or email him at scott@everyotherthursday.com. His personal blog, where he writes about public relations and social media, is www.scottgulbransen.com. Just don’t complain about his posts or he’ll cap your ass.

Be Sociable, Share!

•