My son talks openly about his girlfriend, his love for her, his kissing of her, her hugs to him and, yes, even how they “sleep” together.
That’s the good news.
The bad news: My son is 3. And his girlfriend just turned 4.
Yes, toddler love is alive and well on a daily basis at the Guarino household, at the household of GirlFriend (we’ll call her GF to protect the innocent) and at the daycare/preschool center they share. They talk about each other
constantly. When they are together, they hold hands. When the take daycare naps, they go off into their own corner, lie down, hold hands and fall asleep. I kid you not, there’s photographic proof to the right.
All this, of course, scares the living hell out of Dad.
But it doesn’t scare me in the way you would think. I’m not worried his heart will get broken or something untoward is happening – although that little Jakey is a devil (God bless him). Those aren’t the things that Dads of boys tend to worry about, of course. Those are the concerns of Dads that have girls. But that’s a post for another day…
My concerns were echoed one recent day when I was talking with GF’s Mom and Dad. They had stopped by for a visit after GF insisted she bring Jake some cool Burger King free toy. They said they worried GF had found her true love at the age of one (when they first met at daycare). At first, I was a bit insulted (“Hey, you talkin’ bout my kid?”). But they’re exactly right.
I’m not sure I want my son finding his lifelong love at age one, do I? What about high school love? What about college “love”? Aren’t I a better husband and father because I had my chances at love – failure and success? Damn right I am. I know I’m a more understanding husband and parent because I loved and lost, because I broke hearts (sorry) and had mine broken (that $%#&). I know Heidi and I both try harder to make it work well because we’ve seen when it doesn’t.
So what do I do with Jake and GF? Break them up at age three or four? Now that’s just silly. Urge Jake to play the field? At three? Are you nuts? Move three towns over so it’s harder for them to stay together? No, we like where we live.
My mother tried to remind me that I had a similar love when I was Jake’s age back in Kalamazoo, Michigan. “See,” my Mom said, “you and (named deleted to protect the innocent) didn’t last.” But, Mom, we moved from Michigan to New York when I was six – who knows what might have happened?
So I wait. And watch. And parent. I admit that I know the heart wants what the heart wants and there isn’t a heck of a lot I can do.
Maybe Jake and GF will last. Maybe all my comments will be silly and he’ll be a wonderful man, husband and Dad in spite of not loving and losing or sleeping around or any of that. I have to admit that maybe, just maybe, you can meet the love of your life at age one.
And then, well, wouldn’t that just be one of the greatest love stories of all time?
Good stuff Dave. Not sure I'd say the same thing if “GF” was my daughter though.
My mom has a friend from college who married the guy she walked to kindergarten with. This woman took summer courses to graduate college early because her parents wouldn't let her get married until she had her degree. And yes, they're 60 years old and still crazy in love. My mom says they have the best marriage of all of her friends. It happens.
Hi David:-
That article is so funny, we talk about “Shari and David” a lot, mostly because she was so bossy and you just sat there and took all her comments. Just to let you know she has not changed, she is still very bossy!! and she knows it. With four children and a stubborn dog, she keeps all her ducks in a row. Daddy still wears the pants and makes all the decisions or at least he thinks so. We just spent “Thanksgiving weekend” with them, including Scott and Dawn and two boys, age 6. Shari and Courtney have built a cabin just south of Chattanooga so it only takes us two hours to get there. We keep in touch with you and Heidi through your Mom. Take care of yourselves.
Carole
Hi David:-
That article is so funny, we talk about “Shari and David” a lot, mostly because she was so bossy and you just sat there and took all her comments. Just to let you know she has not changed, she is still very bossy!! and she knows it. With four children and a stubborn dog, she keeps all her ducks in a row. Daddy still wears the pants and makes all the decisions or at least he thinks so. We just spent “Thanksgiving weekend” with them, including Scott and Dawn and two boys, age 6. Shari and Courtney have built a cabin just south of Chattanooga so it only takes us two hours to get there. We keep in touch with you and Heidi through your Mom. Take care of yourselves.
Carole