Nothing better than washing down cake with beer
The family and I recently celebrated my youngest daughters third birthday. We have a relatively large family so it’s not that easy to have 30+ people at our modest Cape. What we typically will do is head up to Prince Pizzeria in Saugus, MA. Prince is a family style place, with excellent pizza, games for the kids and big screen TVs for the dads interested in keeping up to par with their fantasy football stats or football cards.
These birthday celebrations, as well as others during the warmer months where BBQs are on the agenda, are pretty much fronts for dads to put on their drinking boots and mount up.
You see, we hard working dads spend about 70-90 hours slaving away. Whether it’s the 10 hour days, traveling, conference calls late at night or doing some email clean-up on a Sunday, we’re pretty much working all the time. When we have the opportunity to hang out with the fellas, watch a little sports and pound down a chunk of draft pitchers, we’re going to do it like it was our job.
Why does this happen?
Well, the opportunities for us to get out from underneath the work rock and have enough quality time at home to allow us to go out with the boys, are few and far between. So when we get together at family events, birthday parties, reunions, etc., we do it up big.
However, there’s a strategy to it all. Here are some tips to ensure maximum man-beer-time, while doing the “family thing.”
Keep the pack mentality in play
The guys need to hang with each other. You have to stay together because there is strength in numbers. At some point, we’ll get picked off one by one to load up the car, feed a kid, take someone to the bathroom, etc. However, because we are pooled together like white house reporters, the ladies pretty much do the same. Since the ladies are preoccupied with themselves, we pretty much make it through the event unscathed.
Order in bulk
The key at these family gigs is that time is of the essence. The opportunities to head up the bar and grab a pop are slim. You’re looking at a couple of hours of brew consumption so you need to work with the guys, pool cash and rotate the trips to the bar. That way it doesn’t look like you’re heading up every 15 minutes.
Throwing a bone
Every so often you need to check in with the wife, yell at the kids or do something that shows your wife and her pack that you’re stepping up and not just sucking down your beer like you were a thirsty sailor. Step up a couple times and you’ve done your job.
Be a good wing man
If you see one of the other wives or girlfriends riding one of your cohorts, step in and see if you can be a distraction or run interference. There is no excuse for one guy to get pounded by the wife if he has his wing men in place. We need protection from the times when our wives are on the war path. This is a critical thing because once one wife gets on the war path, the other wives smell the blood in the water and it eventually becomes a feeding frenzy.
Pull the favor card
Be sure you’re wife understands that you’re hanging with the boys and that she might have to drive. At least one of you needs to remain sober and able to drive (sorry, had to make that disclaimer so it doesn’t seem like I’m a booze bag and driving drunk with my kids.) If your wife agrees to take one for the team, make as many promise you can so you can enjoy your few hours of man-beer-time, knowing all the while you’ll be making up for it at some point.
Bonus after party tip
Sometimes, the party will end up at someone’s house. As in the case recently, the party ended up at my house (which I knew it would). Make sure you have the beer fridge packed because if the boys are in the mood to throw them down, you’ll end up in the basement or man-town, continuing what you were doing at the restaurant, only drinking beer that’s $16 for a 12 pack versus $22 for a pitcher (that might get you seven beers). Please note in this case, all previous tips apply.
