It's Blue Shirt Wednesday! (image: Sears)
There are five days in most standard American work weeks. Every day elicits different emotions and attitudes towards work and behavior in the office. This is how I interpret each day.
Monday is an odd day. I can’t stand the people who lament that it’s Monday and they have to return to work. I don’t know what your weekends are like, but mine is hectic as all get out. I’m glad for the regular consistency of a Monday morning. There is also this running theory that the weekday should start on Tuesday instead of Monday and just make it up by working longer hours. That’s bunk. Because then the negative feelings towards Monday would just move over to Tuesday and then some idiot in the elevator will say some dumbass thing to me like, “man, another Tuesday already?” I have a better solution. The work week should start midday on a Monday, and end midday on a Friday. Problem solved.
I have a natural aversion to Tuesday’s. I can’t prove it (well, I probably can but that would take hours of research) but Tuesday is the worst day known to man. This is a little known fact. I suppose it’s not a fact since I haven’t proven anything, but let’s just say it’s a pretty strong hypothesis. You are probably wondering if I’m absolutely mad with hate for Tuesday. Why yes, yes I am. You see, a lot of bad things tend to happen on Tuesdays. If you pay close attention, you too may be able to find the pattern.
In my world, Wednesday is always “Blue Shirt Wednesday.” It’s the day to wear a blue shirt to work. I attribute this to my ex-manager, KM, who started the trend at the last company I worked for. It caught on. Soon there were many of us wearing blue shirts on Wednesday. This helps to create a team atmosphere and also gives you something else to say besides “hey, it’s hump day.” No, it’s not hump day. It’s Blue Shirt Wednesday. Get that through your head. So this Wednesday, and every Wednesday, wear a blue shirt.
Thursday doesn’t exist. While Monday is return to work day, Tuesday is the spawn of the devil and Wednesday is blue shirt day, Thursday just doesn’t fit in. It’s the kid with the odd shaped head that smells of piss and sweat. You just want to steer clear of it. You don’t want it hanging around, and you don’t want it talking to you or your friends. It’s a throw-away day. It’s the day in between the heart of the work week and the freedom of the weekend. There is something wrong with Thursday, but you don’t care or want to know what it is. Just get out of the way already Thursday. Sheesh.
Friday, the day of escape. The day of the least productivity, the day you pray your boss doesn’t come into your office at four pm asking for a three hour report. The same idiots who spoke of how crappy it is that it’s Monday now have a treasure trove of cliches to choose from on Friday. They get dumber as the day gets longer.
So what’s it all mean Alphie? What’s it all about? It’s about dealing with your work week the best you can. It’s about not being that moron in the elevator that insists on spouting out useless one liners about the day of the week. It’s about not assuming that everyone had a “good” weekend. Don’t give me a sour look when I say that my weekend was crappy. You asked. Just be glad that I didn’t list Saturday and Sunday as part of the work week, and don’t forget to wear your blue shirt on Wednesday.
Curtis Silver is not nuts. He’s condiments. Follow @cebsilver.
