Flickr: Ben Heine
I am the oldest of two kids. This month, I’ll be seven years deep in marriage and my wife and I have two kids. My closest comrade is my younger brother; five years younger to be exact. Today he’ll be experiencing what I have experienced two times over — fatherhood.
In honor of my little bro’s journey on the big blue ocean in the little dingy called parenting, here are some tips to help him navigate:
- The first few weeks will be joyous hell. What I mean is that your home will be blessed with this little bundle of joy that will wreak havoc on your routines and sleeping patterns. You’ll never do anything the same nor sleep normal again. However, just stare at your baby girl for a few minutes and you’ll forget about going to work on three hours sleep.
- The first few weeks are great as you’ll have plenty of visitors bringing gifts, outfits, etc. Take it all. If you get formula and diapers, keep them. They’re considered gold. Even more so than money, 8 hours of sleep (debatable) and a 12 pack of beer.
- With a steady stream of visitors, you guys will have a little break from parenting. However, when the craziness calms down and it’s you, your wife and your kid, you’ll need to step up. Your wife will need rest. She’ll probably have some touch of post pardem that you’ll have to deal with and manage your life around. Suck it up, change the diapers, do laundry and maintain peace.
- When you have to go back to the office, its going to be toigh on you, but mostly your wife. She’ll be solo with no help defense in sight. It’s all on her and it’s a lot of work, but she’s happy to do it. Get into the office as physically early as you can manage. The reasoning is that you’ll be able to crank out a couple of hours worth of work before anyone else shows up. On the flip side, you’ll can afford to leave at a decent time and spend some QT with the family. Bonus work tip: flood your cubicle with pics of the kid. it sets the tone for what you are all about and will put a smile on your face when work is getting you in a pissy mood.
- Best advice I could give is to enjoy it. Everything you do from here on out will be for the benefit for your family. Enjoy every second of when she’s cuddled up to your chest like a football. There will be a ton of firsts. Capture all of them by taking video, pictures and even blogging. Catalog her life as you would a reporter covering a major news story. Sounds crazy right? Well, you’ll need to becuase you’ll forget all the small stuff and the little funny moments that make being a dad the best job in the world.
So congrats little brother. Can’t wait to meet my god daughter.
P.S. one last bit of advice: whatever you do, avoid all things pink when it comes to the Red Sox, Patriots, Bruins and Celtics. Trust me, you’ll have enough pink in other wardrobe areas. Plus, there’s nothing cuter than a little girl rocking a Pats #12 throw back.
Nice touch Don, congrats to you and your kid brother. All these tips are great. The best part is, he gets to make all the mistakes we did at first … with or without anyone’s advice. That’s among the best parts.
Thanks! Very, very true. It’s the whole, throw ‘em in the lion’s den sorta thing. Baptism by fire. Well worth it, of course.
Great idea for a post. Lemme add some!
-Sleep is flexible. Learn to nap. Don’t be discouraged by night – you and the kids’ll get used to it. Some kids sleep through the night right away and some don’t – it ain’t your fault! Just roll with it.
-Get a lot of food you can eat with one hand and or heat up easily or eat lukewarm or cold. I’m so serious about this. Keep banana bread, jerky and trail mix handy – there will be times when you’ve had no nourishment and you just need to stuff something in your gullet to keep going. Trail mix is handy as hell for this. Like Don said, people will probably bring you lots of food.
-On that note, no booze. See “sleep.” You get a good buzz on and you want to zone out, next thing you know you’re up and trying to rock a kid with the beer dizzies. Not good.
-Buy two stacks of clean white t-shirts and a bunch of old, good, warn flannel shirts on hand. Ditto the socks and underwear. Dad’s chest and shoulder is where it’s at – clean white t-shirt, can’t beat it.
-Bathing. See “sleep.”
Don’s right. Enjoy it. I was really upset about how my routines were being shaken up but I soon learned to make my routines more flexible. I heard one blogger, I think it was copyblogger, put it that you shouldn’t have routines, you should have systems. If-then. If baby sleeps, then I will do some writing. If not, I will do it later. You get the idea.
Per Charlie’s comment, the notion of “our routines” definitely goes out the window – the new tax deduction is driving the bus in some respects.
Returning home after being back at work for awhile after our first was born, I remember the wife staring at me upon my return with a “here, she’s yours!” look on her face – it took me awhile to appreciate just how tough the routine/lack of routine is for a stay-at-home parent with a newborn.
I think it was early in the second month of our first (two daughters now) that I did the math and realized my wife was sleeping no more than 3 hours at a stretch. I knew I would be a complete zombie if my (lack of) sleep routine went upside down like that and I then got much better at making her morning/evening/afternoon pot of coffee when I woke up in the morning.
As Don said, the most important thing is to enjoy. As a father of 11 and 9 year olds, the cliche about time flying by is too true.
Per Charlie's comment, the notion of “our routines” definitely goes out the window – the new tax deduction is driving the bus in some respects.
Returning home after being back at work for awhile after our first was born, I remember the wife staring at me upon my return with a “here, she's yours!” look on her face – it took me awhile to appreciate just how tough the routine/lack of routine is for a stay-at-home parent with a newborn.
I think it was early in the second month of our first (two daughters now) that I did the math and realized my wife was sleeping no more than 3 hours at a stretch. I knew I would be a complete zombie if my (lack of) sleep routine went upside down like that and I then got much better at making her morning/evening/afternoon pot of coffee when I woke up in the morning.
As Don said, the most important thing is to enjoy. As a father of 11 and 9 year olds, the cliche about time flying by is too true.