Since my wife decided to stay at home almost five years ago after my bout with malignant melanoma, I’ve had the pleasure and privilege (really?) of driving my two older kids to school each morning. It’s a ritual I love because I get to spend that half-hour it takes us to drive the 12 miles to school mixing it up with my kids before the busy work and school day.

Although I can be serious as a father at times, I pretty much joke around with my kids all the time. And the fact I have them all to myself for that half hour gives me the opportunity to live out my inner child with corny jokes, impressions and crazy observations. For that 30 minutes I get to play comedian with my kids as a captive (literally) audience.

But, like one of my heroes Rodney Dangerfield used to say: “I get no respect at all.”

One of my all-time heroes: Rodney Dangerfield

One of my all-time heroes: Rodney Dangerfield

I throw everything I have at them: jokes, faux Indian accents, goofy cartoon voices, singing really bad and loud to songs on the radio, and even whimsical conversations with myself like they aren’t there.

What do I get in return? Bubkes!

When I asked my daughter about why they don’t laugh or comment back at me, she simply said this:

“Dad!”

When I pressed my 12 year old daughter some more, she fired back with this:

“Dad, can I just relax before school?”

To which I responded in my best Apu Nahasapeemapetilon voice:

“To which Dad are you talking about? Who is this Dad you’re always talking about. I am simply your driver who can fill a Squishee faster than any human alive.”

I sort of feel like these guys bombing on stage:

Now, I know that’s not Comedy Central material. But I try my best to just be goofy and lighten the mood before a day of school.

Maybe its my threats of pulling up to the school and doing my rendition of “Sex Machine” by James Brown that gets them nervous.

Besides actually thinking I am very funny (at least to an 8 and 12 year old), I do think my kids will look back at these moments with a smile. After they’ve left the comfort of home and start living their pre-adult or adult lives, they’ll tell stories and remember fondly the jackass driving them to school each morning.

I also like to think they go into class with a bigger smile on their face than had I not done it.

The best thing for me, and perhaps most encouraging, is that I still have two younger kids who won’t start school for a few years. I’ll get to do this for at least another 16 years. That’s a lot of time to refine my act and get really good!

I AM the comedian in the front seat and my engagement never ends. Thank you. Thankyouverymuch.